My Daddy Is a Hero Read online

  Contents

  Disclaimer

  Introduction

  Chapter 1: “Is Shanann ok?”

  Chapter 2: “Don’t call the police.”

  Chapter 3: “I’m in.”

  Chapter 4: “I’d do anything for those girls.”

  Chapter 5: “Hold Me Tight”

  Chapter 6: “I love those girls to death.”

  Chapter 7: “I fell in love with her.”

  Chapter 8: “This is the heartless one…”

  Chapter 9: “He’s a keeper.”

  Chapter 10: “I couldn’t have asked for a better man!”

  Chapter 11: “My daddy is a hero.”

  Chapter 12: “How does it feel when someone says, ‘I love you?’”

  Chapter 13: “I don’t want to lose anyone.”

  Chapter 14: “My sexy empanada.”

  Chapter 15: “Ready to be home with Chris and the girls.”

  Chapter 16: “Mommy doesn’t feel good.”

  Chapter 17: “Chris Watts is an enigma to many…”

  Chapter 18: “Exploitation. Entitlement. Empathy impairments.”

  Psychopath? Sociopath?

  What is a narcissist?

  Covert, communal, and malignant narcissists.

  Born with a “bad brain”

  Nature, nurture, or both?

  The origins of narcissism

  Are psychopathy, sociopathy and narcissism treatable?

  The narcissist in a romantic relationship

  What is Chris Watts?

  Chapter 19: “Was I born that way?”

  Attachment theory and Imago

  Chris Watts in childhood

  Shanann, the scapegoat

  In defense of Shanann

  Chapter 20: “A failed psychopath”

  Asperger’s Syndrome

  Mimicking and muted emotions

  The communal narcissist

  Classic narcissistic abuse

  Chapter 21: Protect and prevent

  The evidence of premeditation

  Why did Chris Watts kill his family?

  Did Chris have a break from reality?

  How do you spot the red flags and protect yourself?

  Preventing violence

  Chris in prison

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Bibliography

  Disclaimer

  The information in this book has mostly been taken from the Frederick Colorado Police Department and the Colorado Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Discovery documents from the investigation of the disappearance of Shanann Watts and her daughters. The story and analysis in this book are based on numerous interviews, text messages, e-mails, internet searches, and body cam footage from the police and CBI documents, as well as Shanann Watts’ social media videos and posts. Other sources, including academic journals, books, and interviews that were not part of the discovery documents are included in the footnotes and Bibliography.

  The thoughts, views, and opinions are solely the author’s and not necessarily the author’s employer or any groups or individuals affiliated with the author. The psychoanalysis in this book is not intended as definitive truth, as it is speculation and opinion based on the author’s professional opinion and expertise. The author has never personally met Chris Watts or anyone affiliated with this crime and is not officially diagnosing any individual with a mental illness.

  Most important, the blame for this tragedy lies entirely upon Chris Watts. It is important to remember that there are many victims in this tragedy, not limited to the families, friends, and law enforcement. The author wrote this book with the objective of understanding tragedies like this one, in hopes of preventing them in the future.

  Introduction

  When I saw Chris Watts’s television interview when Shanann and her daughters first went missing, I was struck by how indifferent he was to their disappearance. Like many others who watched that interview, I was drawn into the case immediately and followed it obsessively from that moment on.

  As a mental health professional who works with couples and specializes in relationships, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around how someone so seemingly normal his entire life, with no warning signs or red flags, could do something so heinous and evil. In my opinion, there was no way Shanann would have been able to tell she was married to someone who was capable of something this atrocious. In fact, I believe she thought Chris was completely incapable of something like this. For most of her marriage, up until she left for North Carolina for her summer vacation, she felt safe with Chris. She trusted him implicitly.

  I know that many people who followed this case have had so many questions: Was Chris a nice guy who had a break from reality? Was he an evil psychopath? A narcissist? Something else? If he is a psychopath, how did he hide it for so long? How did Chris become like this? Was he born like this, or did he become this way over time? Were there any warning signs? Are there warning signs that I can look out for, so this doesn’t happen to me?

  These are all questions I have attempted to answer in this book, using my professional expertise in Imago Relationship Therapy and psychotherapy, and with the help of a criminal psychologist, a neuroscientist, and a journalist. I am aware that people following this case have many diverse beliefs, opinions, and views, and I respect and honor them all. I share my opinions in this book, not because I believe it is the gospel, but because I wanted to contribute something meaningful and substantive to the discussion, and hopefully help bring some knowledge or closure to those who still struggle to move on.

  While retelling this story, I recognize that it would be impossible to report the full truth. There are different sides and perspectives to many of the stories in this book, and we probably will never know exactly what happened. All I can do is report the different perspectives that I am aware of, and let the reader make their own judgments of what they believe to be true. The only account we have of what really happened to Shanann, Nico, Bella, and CeCe the morning they died is what Chris has said in several confessions he has given. There is no way to know what parts of his accounts are true, but I told his version of events in this book because that was the only account I had.

  Many of the people who are familiar with this case will already know some of the information presented in the book because they have poured over the discovery documents countless times themselves. I felt it was important to retell the story for those who were not familiar with the case and for everyone reading the book to use as reference when they read the psychological exploration of Chris and the story of the Watts family murders.

  There was no way anyone involved in this tragedy could have seen it coming. The only thing we can do is try to learn from situations like this going forward. My hope is that we can prevent abuse and violence if we have more of an understanding and know what signs to look out for. By understanding important relational dynamics, attachment theory, and the traits and characteristics of Chris Watts and people like him, people can either leave a bad situation before it’s too late, or they can get the help they need before things reach a point of catastrophe that they can never come back from.

  Ultimately, this book was born out of a desire to understand how something like these murders could happen and to explore ideas of how, individually and collectively, we can try to prevent similar tragedies in the future. Although we cannot bring back Shanann, Bella, CeCe, and Nico, we can honor the beautiful legacy they have left behind.

  Chapter 1

  “Is Shanann ok?”

  Monday August 13, 2018

  Nic
ki Atkinson had a sinking feeling she couldn’t explain when she woke up on the morning of August 13. Only five hours earlier, she had returned home to Frederick, Colorado, from a quick weekend business trip in Scottsdale, Arizona, with her best friend, Shanann Watts, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss.

  Shanann and Nicki, both promoters of lifestyle products called Thrive by the up-and-coming Le-Vel company, were always in contact. Shanann in particular was incredibly motivated after these trips. Without fail, after a Le-Vel getaway, she would contact Nicki first thing in the morning. Shanann would jump on social media as soon as she woke up and would post on Facebook, sometimes earlier than seven o’clock.

  This morning, something was different. When Nicki rolled over to check her phone, expecting her usual bombardment of text messages from her friend, nothing was there. Shanann’s three- and four-year-old daughters, Celeste (known to all as CeCe) and Bella, were early risers. Shanann also had an appointment with her OB-GYN that morning to check on the status of her third pregnancy, and she had a busy day ahead of her. No way would she still be sleeping.

  Besides the fact that Shanann was fifteen weeks pregnant and had a high-risk pregnancy because of several autoimmune diseases with which she struggled, she had been uncharacteristically emotionally distraught over the last several weeks. Her marriage, which she had thought was close to perfect, had been crumbling before her eyes, and the sudden change in her husband, Chris, was completely out of left field.

  In a matter of only weeks, Shanann’s normally doting, loving, and attentive spouse of six years had gone completely cold and unresponsive with no rational explanation. Shanann, Bella, and CeCe had been away from him five weeks, visiting family in North Carolina while he stayed behind in Colorado for work. Chris had joined his family the sixth week of the trip, and they all returned home to Colorado together.

  Chris had recently told Shanann he no longer wanted the baby she was carrying, even though he was the one who pushed for the third child. Chris had always wanted a boy, and the couple was hoping that the third time would be the charm. Instead, Chris now said they were no longer compatible, and he wanted a separation. When Shanann pushed him for definitive answers, he would vacillate between aloof and distant and giving her false hope that he might be open to working things out.

  Right before Shanann and Nicki left for Arizona for their business trip, Chris had seemed more open to working on their marriage; he had even kissed Shanann once or twice, and he hadn’t touched her in months. She was finally starting to feel that for the first time in the last six weeks of a hellish nightmare, perhaps her marriage could be saved. However, her anxiety was still heightened and palpable. Her friends with her in Arizona were worried because she wasn’t eating or drinking much water. The normally unflappable and vivacious Shanann was withdrawn, depressed, and anxious.

  It was unsettling for Nicki to see her normally optimistic, upbeat, and vibrant friend so despondent. Shanann was always the most dynamic person in the room. With porcelain, flawless skin, sparkling hazel eyes, glossy dark hair, and a dazzling smile that lit up her whole face, she was stunning. Her rebellious side was reflected on her face with a tiny nose ring stud she never took out. She was always impeccably put together. She loved bright colors, and her nails were always done in bold tones to match her stylish outfits.

  Her outer beauty, however, was no match for her inner beauty. If you were lucky enough to be in Shanann’s inner circle, you were blessed with the most warm, loyal, loving, and generous friend one could ever hope to have. Shanann doted on her loved ones and would do anything for them. She had tons of friends, and despite being as busy as she was, kept in constant contact with her friends and family. Being connected to people was her lifeblood.

  On their flight back home to Colorado the night before, Nicki noticed that Shanann was physically uncomfortable and in pain. Her migraines had been debilitating, and the pregnancy and recent emotional distress were starting to take their toll. The flight had been delayed a few hours, so they didn’t arrive home to Frederick until the early morning hours of August 13. Despite all the recent problems in her marriage, Shanann had been reading books on how to fix relationship troubles and had even sent a copy of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love to Chris while she had been in North Carolina.

  Before she boarded her flight, she posted on Facebook, “Ready to be home with Chris and the girls.” She hadn’t really wanted to go to Arizona, but Chris had pushed her to go, reassuring her that they would talk when she got back.

  Nicki had left her car at the airport over the weekend and drove them back home in her car after the flight landed. When they pulled up to the Watts home, it was around 1:45 am.

  “Sucks that I’ll be awake in three hours,” Shanann said, turning to Nicki, exasperated.

  “Why?” Nicki asked, not comprehending how Shanann would be able to function on so little sleep.

  “CeCe gets up at 5:30 because she’s still on North Carolina time,” Shanann said, shaking her head.

  Nicki gave her a hug. “Let me know if you need anything tomorrow or if you want me to go to your doctor’s appointment with you,” she said. She knew Shanann really needed support right now and wanted to help in whatever way she could.

  Nicki did her due diligence as a good friend and watched Shanann drag her suitcase by the handle up the walkway, punch her entry code into the front door keypad, and disappear into the darkness of her picturesque mocha-colored home. When she safely made it inside, Nicki pulled away and drove back to her house.

  No one would have ever predicted Shanann wasn’t safe in her home, and nowhere in the darkest, most sinister corners of Nicki’s mind, would she ever have imagined the horrors that would follow in the mere hours afterward.

  Shanann locked the door behind her and used a security system to keep evil away from her and her family. She had no idea that the evil she needed to protect themselves from was the person she trusted the most.

  • • •

  Kodi Roberts, a burly man in his early twenties, with kind brown eyes and shaggy hair, worked with Chris Watts, Shanann’s husband. Chris and Kodi both worked in the fields for Anadarko Petroleum, cleaning up crude oil spills and leaks and making sure the sites were running efficiently. Kodi was at work early in the morning when he noticed three unanswered calls from Chris.

  The night before, Chris had texted and told him not to bother going to Cervi 319, the site where Kodi was supposed to check out an oil leak. Chris mentioned in his text that there was no sense in both of them going out to Cervi. It wasn’t typical for him to text on a Sunday like that, but Chris was always helping other people, so Kodi didn’t think too much about it.

  After the missed calls, Kodi noticed an incoming text from Chris.

  “Where you at?” Chris asked.

  “Just got fuel in Kersey” Kodi replied.

  Chris attempted another call, but Kodi didn’t pick up.

  “Ok. I’m in Cervi. Where you going first?” Chris texted after not getting through to Kodi on the phone.

  “DPC State,” Kodi responded.

  Chris responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

  At 6:35 am, Kodi texted Chris, “I need to call Chad and see if he plans on still stroking the 10-29 out there to see if it’ll pump up….If so, I’ll have to meet him, or he will have to get the cannon plugs from Tony, ok?”

  “Ok. Let me know before I leave here,” Chris responded.

  “I think he might be heading out there today. Phone was breaking up pretty bad,” Kodi added.

  Chad McNeil, another co-worker, also received a call from Chris at 6:45 am. Chad didn’t pick up but shortly after, saw a text from Chris:

  “You headed out to Cervi? I’m out here. Kodi said something about pumping up the 10-29.”

  Chad responded, “Well since you’re out there, you want to fix it up? Having Kodi
bring his cables. I’ll head that way in a bit.”

  At 7:30 am, yet another co-worker, Troy McCoy, grabbed a burrito from a mobile vendor and got into his truck to head over to Cervi 319. As he was driving, a call came in from Chris. Troy maneuvered the steering wheel and pulled over to the side of the road to take the call. Chris told him he was testing the bypass line that was leaking. Troy was headed over that way and told Chris he would see him soon.

  Chris had been at Cervi 319 by himself for almost an hour when he texted his wife Shanann at 7:40 am, “If you take the kids somewhere, please let me know where they are at!”

  • • •

  “Primrose School of Erie. This is Shannan. How can I help you?” Shannan Meyer, who coincidentally spelled her name the same as Shannan Watts, was one of the owners of The Primrose School, a childcare facility Bella and CeCe Watts attended. Meyer answered the phone at 8:15 am. The girls hadn’t been there in weeks because they had been vacationing with family in North Carolina, and they were scheduled to start school again that morning.

  “Hi, this is Chris Watts,” Chris said, “Bella and CeCe’s dad.”

  “Oh hi!” Meyer replied. “We’re excited to see the girls today.”

  “Well, that’s why I’m calling. The girls won’t be coming back to school,” Chris said.

  There was an awkward silence, and then he continued. “I’m not really sure what’s going on yet, but we are putting the house up for sale and moving and not sure where we’re going to be yet.”

  “That’s pretty crazy,” Meyer said hesitantly.

  “The girls aren’t there…are they?” Chris asked.

  “I haven’t seen them, but I can check to see if they’ve clocked in yet.”

  Meyer put Chris on hold and found out the girls had not arrived at school that day. She picked up the phone again to tell Chris.

  “Ok, put them down as not coming in then,” he said.

  “Do you want me to put them on the waitlist in case anything changes?” Meyer asked.

  “Sure. Might as well. But we don’t know what’s going on right now.”